Unit V Review – For the Mentor

JOURNEY TO FREEDOM HANDBOOK

UNIT V                                                REVIEW

Purpose of this Key:

  1. Assess progress and summarize victories.
  2. Identify the changes in their personalities, relationships, and thinking.
  3. Identify their gifts, calling, and priorities.
  4. Understand the value of Christian fellowship.
  5. Understand that to maintain godly changes, they need to be aware of their thoughts, focus on God’s mercy in Christ, and be willing to obey the Holy Spirit’s guidance.
  6. Understand the value of praise in renewing their minds.
  7. Understand that we can never stop learning from the Word.

1. What problems in your life have you cleaned up since you began the program?

Common responses:

  1. Some have apologized to those whom they have wronged, and they are attempting to repair broken relationships.
  2. Some are paying off debts.
  3. Some are learning to make friends with people who will build them up.
  4. Most have learned to take thoughts captive to the Lordship of Christ (II Corinthians 10:5).
  5. Most have made much progress at forgiving others and not blaming others for their problems.
  6. Some are finding their gifts and calling in the Church.
  7. Many state that they have more self-esteem.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm their progress. None of it was easy.
  2. Encourage them to continue taking thoughts captive to the Lordship of Christ (II Corinthians 10:5) and letting the Holy Spirit renew their minds (Romans 12:2).
  3. Encourage thanks and praise to God. They have come a long way.

2. What problems do you still need to clean up?

Common responses:

  1. Many need to continue repairing broken relationships.
  2. Some need to follow through on promises they made.
  3. Some still need to work on overcoming anger, shame, and low self-esteem.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Encourage them to do their part to repair broken relationships.
  2. However, they cannot control the responses of others.
  3. Encourage them to continue relying on the Holy Spirit’s guidance.
  4. Encourage them to take every issue before the Lord in prayer.
  5. Remind them that I John 1:9 and Romans 8:1 always apply.
  6. If they are sad about broken relationships, assure them that relationships can change unexpectedly and that unresponsive loved ones might suddenly show interest in reconciling.

3. What do you feel are your spiritual gifts and calling at this time? How have you adjusted your life in order to use your gifts and obey your calling?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.
  2. Teaching, helping, and encouraging seem to be the most common gifts mentioned.
  3. Many seem to have developed servants’ hearts.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical responses or insights.
  2. Affirm the gift of helps (I Corinthians 12:28). It has been called the most unrecognized and thankless job in the Church, but it is also the most necessary. Christian servanthood has transformed cultures.
  3. Affirm the gift of encouragement. If Barnabas had not reached out to Saul, the Church might not have been blessed by the Apostle Paul (Acts 9:26-27).
  4. Encourage them with Hebrews 6:10, Matthew 25:21 and 23, and Romans 12:6-8.
  5. We are often led into our path of ministry one step at a time.

4. How have your personality and priorities changed since you began the program?

Common responses:

  1. Many are more forgiving and less resentful.
  2. Many are kinder, more helpful, and more generous, even to people who have been unkind to them.
  3. They look for ways to be of greater service and are less selfish.
  4. They are more honest, sincere, and self-confident.
  5. Their will is more aligned with God’s will.
  6. Some explain that they used to do good deeds only to get something in return, but now they do good deeds and expect nothing in return.
  7. They like who they became as God transformed them. 

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical thinking, speech, or actions. They have come a long way.
  2. Only the Holy Spirit working through the Word could have gotten them to where they are now.

5. Do you have a prayer/fellowship/support/accountability group with others of the same sex, with whom you can freely discuss your temptations? If so, in what ways are they helpful to you?

Common responses:

  1. Some do. They receive feedback and others’ perspectives.
  2. Some have only one person with whom they can discuss these temptations.
  3. These relationships are mutually beneficial.
  4. Some do not, but hope to in the future.
  5. Those in prison for crimes against children must be especially careful with whom they discuss their temptations.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm these relationships.
  2. Those who do not have accountability groups or partnerships might consider starting such a group. They should discuss this with their pastor first.
  3. In some churches, the ssa/ma/tx overcomers are the ones who start the accountability groups. Later, as they see changes in the group members, the heterosexuals ask if they can get help to overcome their addictions to pornography or adultery.
  4. Trust and confidentiality are essential to the success of such groups. An overcomer who confides in the wrong people might regret it later.
  5. Those in prison for crimes against children must be especially careful.
  6. The group should neither condone nor condemn the overcomer. They should be mindful of their own position as pardoned sinners in continuous need of God’s mercy in Christ. They should not put the overcomer’s sins in a separate category from their own.

6. Which of the fruits of the Spirit as listed in Galatians 5:22-23 do you see in your life?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.
  2. Some list those in which they are strong and also those they still need to work on.
  3. Some are amazed at how much they have grown in the fruits of the Spirit.
  4. Some are in difficult situations where their growth is being stretched.
  5. They have more self-esteem as a result of growing in the fruits of the Spirit.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical responses or insights.
  2. Refer to John 15:2-8.
  3. Encourage them to keep reading the Word, confessing sin, forgiving others, surrendering self-will, and examining themselves for ungodly thoughts, and see where the Holy Spirit leads them.
  4. The lies of the devil can block us from receiving joy and peace.
  5. Those who struggle with patience need to learn to live in surrendered time. If God calls us to a task, He will supply the time in which to do it.

7. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the most sensitive and 1 the least, how much more sensitive to your sins has your conscience become since you began the program? Please explain your answer.

Common responses:

  1. Numbers are usually very high by this time.
  2. Some mention that their sins never used to bother them; now even little things bother them.
  3. Some also mention that they have learned to live transparently before God and quickly confess any sin of which they become aware.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical responses or insights.
  2. Encourage thanks and praise to God.
  3. Only the Holy Spirit working through the Word could have gotten them to where they are now.
  4. God has done a mighty work in their lives, and they have come a long way.

8. How often do you examine yourself for sin? Please explain your answer.

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.
  2. Many check everything on the list.
  3. By now, most have learned to practice thorough self-examination, live transparently before God, and confess any sins of which they become aware.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical responses or insights.
  2. Refer to Hebrews 2:17-18 and 4:15-16 and Psalm 139:23-24. These will verses never stop applying until we come before our Lord in Heaven (I John 3:2).

9. Is there anything with which the devil still torments you? Please explain your answer.

Common responses:

  1. Some still feel badly about former sins.
  2. Some have learned to focus not on their former sins but instead on God’s forgiveness in Christ.
  3. Some have learned to go immediately into prayer and the Word when they recall their former sins so they will not be tormented with their regrets and shameful memories.
  4. A few are still struggling with low self-esteem.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Regret is not the same as guilt. We all regret our former sins, but if we are relying totally on God’s mercy in Christ, the devil cannot torment us with guilt.
  2. The devil is the accuser of our souls (Zechariah 3:1 & Revelations 12:10). The Hebrew word “Ha Satan” means “the Accuser”. He wants to keep us miserable over our sins long after God has forgiven us.
  3. They cannot go back and un-do their former sins, but they can pray frequently for those whom they hurt.
  4. If the ones they hurt turn to Christ, they can be healed.
  5. Refer them to Romans 8:1 and II Corinthians 5:21, and encourage them to use those verses to resist the devil when he tries to torment them.

10. How well are you obeying Philippians 4:8? Please explain your answer.

Common responses:

  1. Most are keeping a positive mental focus and liking it.
  2. Sometimes they are able to positively affect those around them.
  3. Some recognize that learning to obey this verse will be life-long habit.
  4. Some report feeling greater self-esteem as a result.
  5. Some report feeling glad that their minds are no longer full of pornographic fantasies or other negative thoughts.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical responses or insights.
  2. We all need to make obeying this verse a life-long habit.
  3. We can never stop learning from this verse.
  4. The reward is a peaceful and orderly mind, which is a great blessing.
  5. We feel more joy when our minds are not controlled by our ungodly fantasies or negative thoughts.
  6. God has done a mighty work in their lives, and they have come a long way.

11. How well are you obeying I Thessalonians 5:16-22? Please describe.

Common responses:

  1. Most describe a lot of progress while acknowledging struggles.
  2. Most recognize that learning to obey these verses will be a life-long habit.
  3. Most feel greater self-esteem as a result of keeping a positive mental focus.
  4. Sometimes they are able to positively affect those around them.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical responses or insights.
  2. We all need to make obeying these verses a life-long habit.
  3. We can never stop learning from these verses.
  4. Lifting up praise in negative circumstances is powerful.
  5. These verses, along with Philippians 4:8, I Corinthians 13, and Galatians 5:22-23, are good for self-examination.
  6. God has done a mighty work in their lives, and they have come a long way.

12. How would you describe the changes in your life since you began the program? Please explain your answer.

Common responses:

  1. Most are amazed at the changes in their lives, and often others notice also.
  2. Some are glad that they can now resist temptation.
  3. Some describe themselves as feeling stronger.
  4. Many once thought that they would have to spend the rest of their lives acting out ssa/ma/tx temptations, and they are glad that they can now resist those temptations.
  5. They like feeling more positively about themselves and others.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Encourage thanks and praise to God for His mighty works in their lives.
  2. Refer to I Peter 2:9.

13. Do you think marriage is going to be an option for you? Or do you see yourself living as single and celibate? (This question assumes marriage to a member of the opposite sex.)

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.
  2. Some hope that marriage to a member of the opposite sex is God’s will for them in the future.
  3. A few would prefer to be single and celibate.
  4. Some want to get married after they have accomplished other goals in life, such as stable employment, freedom from debt, more education, etc.
  5. Some would like to get married but recognize that they need to make more changes in themselves before they are ready to be spouses or parents.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Encourage them to accept God’s will and the Holy Spirit’s guidance for their lives.
  2. First Corinthians 7 was written for some, as was Matthew 19:12.
  3. The single, celibate life has its own blessings.
  4. Those who have that gift are free in ways that married people are not.
  5. They can live lives of dignity, self-respect, and Christian service.
  6. Sometimes people do not find the right person until later in life.
  7. God sometimes surprises us with blessings we do not expect.
  8. If they do find the right person, they need to be honest about their past before the wedding.
  9. The ex-gay movement has been criticized for pushing overcomers into premature marriages and treating marriage as a benchmark of success. That criticism is sometimes justified. Church people sometimes push young people into marriages before they are ready. Encourage overcomers to accept the Holy Spirit’s guidance and resist un-wanted advice from self-appointed “matchmakers”.

14. How frequently do you still experience ssa/ma/tx temptations?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.
  2. Most experience some residual ssa/ma/tx temptations, but those feelings are no longer as intense.
  3. They now have more power to resist temptation.
  4. They do not base their identities on their temptations.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Assure them that some residual temptation is normal and that they should not be discouraged.
  2. No one has to take a second lustful look or focus on a lustful temptation (Matthew 5:27-28), and the Emergency Prayer can block temptation (Matthew 14:30).
  3. Those temptations do not need to have any power over us.
  4. They may have to avoid tempting stimuli. This is especially true for males, who are more visually cued.
  5. Any sin to which we once gave over our flesh will always have some residual temptation.
  6. Overcomers may need to say a quick prayer before going into potentially tempting environments, such as public restrooms.
  7. Ssa/ma/tx temptations do not have to define our lives or be the basis of our identities (Romans 6:16-17).
  8. They can pray the Emergency Prayer any time they need it.
  9. Temptation might be a warning that they need to be mindful of negative thoughts, negative emotions, or a lie of the devil.
  10. Be sure they understand the difference between attraction and temptation. Attraction does not need to turn into temptation.

15. How do you deal with them?

Common responses:

  1. They overcome one temptation at a time, with prayer, memory verses, Bible-reading, or doing some constructive activity.
  2. Some are careful to avoid the second look (Matthew 5:27-28).
  3. Some remind themselves that they will not feel good after they give in.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical response.
  2. Only the Holy Spirit working through the Word could make these responses possible.
  3. Prayer and the Word are the most powerful ways to deal with temptation.

16. On a scale of 1-10, how close do you feel to freedom? Please explain your answer.

Common responses:

  1. Numbers are usually high at this point.
  2. Some acknowledge that they will likely have residual temptations all their lives, but these do not define them and they do not have to act out the sin.
  3. Some state that they are already free, in spite of some residual temptations.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm their progress.
  2. When our minds are full of Jesus and the Word of God, the devil has less access to our minds and less opportunity to tempt us (Romans 12:2 & II Corinthians 10:5).
  3. When we come into the presence of Jesus in Heaven, our last temptation will be blown away (I John 3:2-3).
  4. Until then, we continue to pursue sanctification in Him (John 17:17 & I Thessalonians 5:23).
  5. Refer to II Corinthians 12:9.
  6. People overcome at different rates. They should not feel badly about themselves if they are not fully recovered. Encourage them to stay in the Word and in prayer and use what they have learned.

17. What do you feel the Lord is telling you to focus on in the foreseeable future?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.
  2. Some are still working on inner changes.
  3. Some are feeling led to use their gifts to be of greater service.
  4. Some are trying to reconcile broken relationships.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical responses and insights.
  2. Refer to Philippians 1:6.

18. On a scale of 1-10, how often and consistently do you praise the Lord?

Common responses:

  1. Numbers are usually high at this point.
  2. Most praise the Lord every day, and some praise Him frequently throughout the day.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm the power of praise.

19. How well do you praise the Lord when things seem to go badly?

Common responses:

  1. Some report that they have learned to praise the Lord consistently, whether things are going well or not.
  2. They recognize that God has a reason for allowing things to go badly at times.
  3. Some recognize that they have room for improvement.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm the power of praise.
  2. When things seem to go badly, our faith is being tested (Romans 8:28).
  3. When things seem to go badly, that may be a firewall of protection against something worse happening.

20. As you finish this last Key in the program, is there anything else you would like to share?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Counsel based on your knowledge, experience, and what you have learned from working with this person.

Additional Points:

  1. Who are we? Sinners in need of forgiveness.
  2. Who is God in Christ? The Forgiver of sins, Who did on our behalf what we could never do for ourselves, making full satisfaction on the cross for all of our sins.
  3. For what sins did Jesus not die? He died for all sins.
  4. Who are we in Christ? Pardoned sinners.