JOURNEY TO FREEDOM
UNIT V Key 5 LOVE
SCRIPTURE PRINCIPLE: Let all that you do be done in love. I Corinthians 16:14
The Christian walk is a series of tests. We go through a test, come out stronger, then go through a bigger test, and come out stronger yet. Sometimes we wish that we could have longer periods of time between tests. Sometimes we hope that if we pass enough tests, we will not have to experience any more of them. Well-meaning people may have told us that will happen. Since the teachings of “prosperity theology” are so rampant in our present culture, many Christians have overlooked where the Bible says we will be tested.
No true Christian can avoid being tested. When we begin trying to truly love others, we then are often tested the most severely. We need to be realistic: some people are difficult to love. We are sometimes admonished in sermons to love the unlovable, hoping that they might therefore become lovable, and sometimes our efforts are successful. We reach out to those whom everyone shuns, and they respond; we try to include loners in group activities, and they gratefully accept; we listen empathically to a complainer, and find that all they really needed was someone to listen. We may risk discussing issues with someone with whom we have quarreled, and find the disagreement was only a misunderstanding. Or we may give a soft answer to an angry person, who then becomes calm and never escalates emotionally with us again. Giving a little respect, patience, or understanding is sometimes all we need to do to make a relationship better.
But it does not always work that way. Some people seem determined to keep up their walls of hostility. They seem committed to a deep-rooted and long-lasting negative attitude. Nothing anyone else does is going to change that. Your efforts to love are interpreted by them as weakness, and they may unconsciously believe that receiving your love would be a weakness on their part. Because of their hidden guilt, they continue sinning in order to justify and cover up their previous sins.
Often the people who need love the most make themselves the most difficult to love. As C.S. Lewis writes in his book, The Four Loves, “They seal up the very fountain for which they are thirsty. . . . such people always desire the same proof of our love; we are to join their side, to hear and share their grievance against someone else. . . . all the while they remain unaware of the real road.”
We need to learn to view these situations from God’s point of view. You believe that you are coming at those people with love, but it feels as if your love is a little toothpick against their iron wall of bitterness. Two questions need to be answered here: how do you know when you are being truly loving, and how do you know that your love is ineffective?
When someone refuses to respond favorably to our overtures of love, the accuser of our souls might try to tell us that we do not truly love them and that the fault lies with us. Self-examination is certainly the safest place to start. Since you have gotten this far in the program, you likely realize how deceitful our minds can be and how readily we can imagine that we are more virtuous than we really are. We have learned the dangers and pitfalls of being less than fully honest with God and ourselves.
The Word of God provides the objective standard against which to measure ourselves. We can turn to I Corinthians 13, which will either convict us of our love deficits or assure us that we are doing what is right. If we are being kind, gentle, and patient with a difficult person, and avoiding arrogance, rudeness, or seeking our own advantage, while avoiding feeling conceited, we are loving well. James 3 can also either convict us of our sins of words or assure us that our bridled tongues are indicative of love. We need not be deceived by our emotions; if we are practicing I Corinthians 13 and James 3, we are being loving whether an emotion follows or not. We can ignore the lies of the accuser.
The other question which must be addressed is whether or not your love is effective. It may not seem to be. That question is actually irrelevant, and we ought not to allow the devil to torment us with it. If we are certain that we are obeying God’s Law of Love, that is enough. We set ourselves up for failure when we rely upon the other person’s response to reassure us. God Himself can be relied upon to reward us.
SCRIPTURE: (Write what each of these verses or passages means to you and your situation.)
I John 3:18-20
Luke 6:32-33 & 35-36
Luke 6:45
Luke 17:7-10
STUDY GUIDE (Feel free to write on the backside or use additional paper if necessary.)
1. On a scale of 1-10 (1 is lowest, 10 is highest), how do you rate the strength of your love? Please explain your answer.
2. On a scale of 1-10, how much has your ability to love increased since you began the program? Please explain your answer.
3. What does I Peter 2:13-17 tell us about dealing with difficult people, especially in authority? (Hint: at this time in Church history, the Emperor was feeding Christians to lions or killing them with hideous tortures.)
4. Are there people in your life who seemed difficult to love, to whom you sincerely reached out, and who responded favorably? Please explain your answer.
5. Are there people in your life who seemed difficult to love, and who despite your best efforts to love them, never seemed to change? Please explain your answer.
6. Are there people in your life to whom you owe an apology, and you have not yet done so? What is stopping you? (Refusing to do so may be blocking your spiritual progress.)
7. Is there anyone in your life to whom you feel you should reach out, but are not sure how to get started? Please explain your answer.
8. Do you ever blame others for your own faults? Please explain your answer.
9. Do you ever blame yourself for others’ faults? Please explain your answer.
10. Is anger a problem for you at this time in your life? Please explain your answer.
11. Are you having any problem getting along with authority figures (whether it is their fault or yours)? Please explain your answer.
12. Did you use any memorized Scripture to battle temptation lately? What was the result?
13. How is your spiritual life in general, how are your private devotions, and how are things at your church/fellowship group?
14. Is there anyone in your life whom you are witnessing to, discipling, or spiritually helping in some other way? Please share, and let me know if I can be helpful.
Plan of Action: (If you said ‘yes’ to any of the questions from 6 — 11, you might want to develop a plan to deal with those issues.)
Keys Ministry 