Unit V Key 1 – For the Mentor

JOURNEY TO FREEDOM HANDBOOK

UNIT V Key 1                                      DESIRE

Purpose of this Key:

  1. Assess their understanding of God’s forgiveness only and entirely through His mercy in Christ as a free gift.
  2. Assess their understanding of sanctification as a result of receiving God’s mercy in Christ as a free gift.
  3. Review their progress as a result of understanding God’s forgiveness as a free gift.
  4. Identify what Scriptures have helped them make progress in overcoming temptations.

Romans 5:1

Common responses:

  1. Most understand that as pardoned sinners, they are at peace with God.
  2. Most understand that they can rely on His help in all circumstances.
  3. Some state that this verse is a comfort when they slip into sin.
  4. Most understand that only Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross makes this possible.
  5. Some state that this is the firm foundation from which they can resist temptation.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm that God’s forgiveness is a free gift because of Jesus’ Atonement on the cross.
  2. We do not have to be afraid to approach God.

Romans 5:6

Common responses:

  1. Most understand that we could not earn salvation or save ourselves.
  2. Most understand that only Jesus could save us.
  3. Most understand that we were helpless in our sins.
  4. Most understand that His death on our behalf showed His love for us.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm that we were helpless, stuck in our sins, and unable to free ourselves.
  2. We come to our Savior’s cross empty-handed and unable to contribute anything toward our own salvation.
  3. Nothing in us is capable of believing the Gospel, coming under conviction of sin, confessing our sins, or believing that Jesus on the cross made full satisfaction for all of our sins.
  4. Faith to believe had to be brought to us from outside of ourselves by the Holy Spirit calling us through the Gospel.
  5. Refer to Ephesians 2:1, which tells us that we were dead in our sins.

Romans 5:18-20

Common responses:

  1. Most understand that the mercy of God in Christ is greater than our sins.
  2. Most understand that because of the sins of our first parents, we were all born in sin.
  3. The righteousness of Jesus covers our sins.
  4. We are no longer under condemnation.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm the righteousness of Jesus that covers our sins.
  2. The Law shows us our sins so that we know of what to repent.

Luke 7:41-43 & 47-50

Common responses:

  1. Only faith in Jesus can save us.
  2. He will forgive us regardless of our past sins.
  3. The more we realize our need for forgiveness, the more we will love Jesus.
  4. We show our love for Jesus when we accept His forgiveness.
  5. When we accept His forgiveness, we have peace.

Points to emphasize:

  1. The people who passed judgment on that woman thought they could earn salvation through clean living and good works.
  2. If they could have seen their sins, they would also have sought forgiveness from Jesus.
  3. No one’s sins are better or worse, we all need forgiveness, and no one is beyond the reach of God’s mercy.
  4. The more honest we are with God about our sins, the more we will love Him.

Mark 8:31-38

Common responses:

  1. Some recognize that we all need to carry our crosses and follow Jesus.
  2. Some recognize that we must confess our faith publicly no matter what the cost.
  3. Most realize that following Christ means giving up our self-will.
  4. We need to give up everything for the Gospel.
  5. Our eternal salvation is more important than anything worldly.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Everyone has their own personal cross to carry.
  2. We will not save ourselves if we refuse to carry it.
  3. We are never alone; when we carry our crosses, Jesus is there to help us carry them.
  4. Following Jesus is neither safe nor easy, but it is worth the cost.
  5. We will always have temptations, no matter how much we grow spiritually.
  6. The surrendered life is worth the rewards.
  7. If necessary, confront “prosperity theology” as a false teaching.

1. On a scale of 1-10, how much progress have you made toward total freedom from ssa/ma/tx, including actions, visual lusts, and fantasies? What Scriptures have given you the strongest motivation?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary. Numbers are usually high by this time.
  2. Most have Scriptures to share.
  3. Some are amazed at the power of the Word to help overcome temptations.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm the power of the Word of God to stop temptations.
  2. Take the time to look up the Scriptures they share if you do not recognize the references.
  3. Affirm any progress they describe.
  4. Encourage thanks and praise to God.
  5. Never criticize any difficulties that they confess. Give encouragement; these changes are difficult.
  6. Counsel based on your knowledge, experience, and what you have learned from working with this person.

2. On a scale of 1-10, how much progress have you made toward total freedom from sins of words, such as unkind remarks, gossiping, swearing, etc.? What Scriptures have given you the strongest motivation?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary. Most have made much progress.
  2. Many acknowledge that they still need to improve.
  3. Many acknowledge that this has been difficult to change.
  4. Many are amazed at the changes they have made.
  5. Most have Scriptures to share.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm the power of the Word to stop temptations.
  2. Take the time to look up the Scriptures they share if you do not recognize the references.
  3. Affirm any progress they describe.
  4. Encourage thanks and praise to God.
  5. Never criticize any difficulties that they confess. Give encouragement; these changes are difficult.
  6. Counsel based on your knowledge, experience, and what you have learned from working with this person.

3. On a scale of 1-10, how much progress have you made toward total freedom from sins of the mind, such as envy, self-pity, cynicism, attitude of superiority, etc.? What Scriptures have given you the strongest motivation?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary. Some are going through difficult circumstances.
  2. Most have Scriptures to share.
  3. Most have made progress.
  4. Most acknowledge that this is an on-going struggle.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm the power of the Word to stop temptations.
  2. Take the time to look up the Scriptures they share if you do not recognize the references.
  3. Affirm any progress they describe.
  4. Encourage thanks and praise to God.
  5. Never criticize any difficulties that they confess. Give encouragement; these changes are difficult.
  6. Counsel based on your knowledge, experience, and what you have learned from working with this person.

4. On a scale of 1-10, how much progress have you made toward total freedom from pride, comparing of self with others, fault-finding, judging, criticizing, etc.? What Scriptures have given you the strongest motivation?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary. Some are dealing with difficult people.
  2. Most have Scriptures to share.
  3. Most have made progress.
  4. Most acknowledge that this is an on-going struggle.
  5. Some realize that low self-esteem contributes to these attitudes.
  6. Those who have made much progress in overcoming these attitudes feel greater self-esteem.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm the power of the Word to change their attitudes toward themselves and others.
  2. Take the time to look up the Scriptures they share if you do not recognize the references.
  3. Affirm any progress they describe.
  4. Encourage thanks and praise to God.
  5. Never criticize any difficulties that they confess. Give encouragement; these changes are difficult.
  6. Acknowledge that pride is a sin that we will have to watch for all of our lives.
  7. Encourage them to pray for those whom they feel tempted to judge or criticize; even if they only are thinking about the other person’s faults.
  8. When we pray for a person or situation we are tempted to judge, our attitude toward the other person will change, and the devil will have less opportunity.
  9. Counsel based on your knowledge, experience, and what you have learned from working with this person.

5. On a scale of 1-10, how much progress have you made toward total freedom from hidden motivations, secret agendas, and temptations to manipulate others for your own advantage? What Scriptures have given you the strongest motivation?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.
  2. Most have Scriptures to share.
  3. Some have had much insight, have made much progress, and are amazed at how their personalities have changed.
  4. They feel greater self-esteem as a result of these changes.
  5. Some acknowledge that this is an on-going struggle.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm the power of the Word to stop temptations.
  2. Take the time to look up the Scriptures they share if you do not recognize the references.
  3. Affirm any progress they describe.
  4. Encourage thanks and praise to God.
  5. Never criticize any difficulties that they confess. Give encouragement; these changes are difficult.
  6. Encourage them to continue to surrender self-will to God’s will. When we surrender self-will, we have no need to manipulate others for our own advantage.
  7. Counsel based on your knowledge, experience, and what you have learned from working with this person.

6. On a scale of 1-10, how much progress have you made toward total freedom from resentments? What Scriptures have given you the strongest motivation?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.
  2. Most have Scriptures to share.
  3. Most report having made much progress in forgiving those who wronged them.
  4. Some acknowledge that this is an on-going struggle.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm the power of the Word to focus their minds on the forgiveness they have received from God, which motivates them to forgive others.
  2. Take the time to look up the Scriptures they share if you do not recognize the references.
  3. Affirm any progress they describe.
  4. Encourage thanks and praise to God.
  5. Never criticize any difficulties that they confess. Give encouragement; forgiveness is difficult. Many of them come from backgrounds of severe abuse.
  6. Encourage them to pray for the salvation of those who have wronged them.
  7. When we pray for the salvation of those who have wronged us, we are praying along with Jesus on the cross (Luke 23:34). God will bless us for praying for them.
  8. Counsel based on your knowledge, experience, and what you have learned from working with this person.

7. On a scale of 1-10, how much progress have you made in identifying the lies of the devil that you have believed and speaking God’s truth against them? Please share as many as you can think of.

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.
  2. Many used to think they were born ssa/ma/tx, but the Word of God showed them it was a lie.
  3. Many grew up in families where they were told they were worthless, stupid, or deserved abuse. The Word of God showed them it was a lie.
  4. Some share other lies that used to define their lives.
  5. Some share the Scriptures that showed them the truth.
  6. Most have made progress in not believing the lies; some are still identifying and fighting the lies.
  7. Some have become very alert to the devil’s tricks and how to fight back with Scripture and prayer.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm the power of the Word to expose the lies of the devil and speak the truth that will set them free.
  2. Take the time to look up the Scriptures they share if you do not recognize the references.
  3. Affirm any progress they describe.
  4. Encourage thanks and praise to God.
  5. Never criticize any difficulties that they confess. Give encouragement; these changes are difficult.
  6. Encourage them to continue identifying the lies of the devil, who uses lies to get us into a negative mental state so we can be more easily tempted.
  7. Behind every temptation is a lie of the devil (John 8:44); so whenever we feel tempted, we can ask the Holy Spirit to show us the lies behind the temptation.
  8. When we are tempted to think negative thoughts, we can ask the Holy Spirit to show us the lies behind the thoughts.
  9. No one becomes completely free of the lies of the devil in this life (I John 3:2). This is a life-long struggle.
  10. Encourage them to continue in the Word, which fills our minds with truth.
  11. Counsel based on your knowledge, experience, and what you have learned from working with this person.

8. How do you deal with stress these days, without using ssa/ma/tx to cope?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.
  2. Most are using prayer and the Word, and keeping focused on Jesus.
  3. Some have developed positive hobbies.
  4. Some have helpful friends they can talk to.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm the power of the Word to change their attitudes in stressful situations.
  2. Take the time to look up the Scriptures they share if you do not recognize the references.
  3. Affirm any progress they describe.
  4. Encourage thanks and praise to God.
  5. Never criticize any difficulties that they confess. Give encouragement; these changes are difficult.
  6. Encourage them to ask God how He wants them to deal with stressful situations.
  7. They can ask Him if the situation is His will, or if they got into it because they stepped out from under God’s will.
  8. If they got into a bad situation because they stepped out from under God’s will, they can repent and then ask Him how He wants them to solve the problem.
  9. They can ask Him what He wants them to do and how He wants them to do it. They can ask Him how He wants them to solve the problems.
  10. Counsel based on your knowledge, experience, and what you have learned from working with this person.

9. On a scale of 1-10, how much do you like the person you see yourself becoming as God works His changes into your life?

Common responses:

  1. Most are very happy with the changes they see in themselves.
  2. They like themselves better when they respond to other people in a more Christ-like way.
  3. They also recognize that they are not yet perfect, and will not become perfect in this life.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any progress they describe.
  2. Affirm the power of the Word to bring change
  3. Encourage thanks and praise to God.
  4. Refer to I John 3:2 & 8, John 10:10, Jeremiah 29:11, Philippians 3:12-14, and similar passages.
  5. Be aware that many ssa/ma/tx people start the program uncertain if they will be able to change, but by this time many are amazed at how much change they have made.

10. Is anything getting in the way of your journey to freedom from ssa/ma/tx, and if so, what?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.
  2. Some are determined to continue accepting everything God wants to give them.
  3. Some still feel weak at times.
  4. Some have other issues, such as episodic depression, anxiety disorders, or other issues that contribute to their feeling weak.
  5. Some are afraid that they will be alone.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm their determination to continue receiving what God has planned for them.
  2. Never criticize any difficulties that they confess. Give encouragement; these changes are difficult.
  3. Encourage them to have confidence in God’s power rather than their own.
  4. Encourage transparency before God, and refer to Hebrews 2:17-18 and 4:15-16.
  5. Encourage them to continue asking the Holy Spirit to expose the lies of the devil that are contributing to depression, anxiety, etc.
  6. Be aware that many ssa/ma/tx people come from backgrounds of abuse, which contributed to depression, anxiety, etc.
  7. Encourage them to spend time alone with the Holy Spirit, asking Him to expose the lies of the devil that they have believed (Psalm 139:23-24).
  8. Children often draw the wrong conclusions from painful events.
  9. The Holy Spirit can re-write the stories of their lives and show us how He sees us, not how our environments taught us to see ourselves.
  10. They can take their fears of being alone to the Holy Spirit, and seek His guidance for their lives.
  11. Counsel based on your knowledge, experience, and what you have learned from working with this person.

11. Did you use any memorized Scripture to battle temptation lately? What was the result?

Common responses:

  1. Most have seen positive results.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm the power of the Word to block temptation.
  2. Counsel based on your knowledge, experience, and what you have learned from working with this person.

12. How is your spiritual life in general, how are your private devotions, and how are things at your church/fellowship group?

Common responses:

  1. Most report that things are going well.
  2. Some are going through personal struggles or seeing problems at church.
  3. Sometimes they see problems at church because they have become more discerning of bad doctrines.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Encourage thanks and praise to God for whatever is going well.
  2. Never criticize any difficulties that they confess.
  3. Counsel based on your knowledge, experience, and what you have learned from working with this person.

Plan of Action

  1. Affirm any Biblical response.
  2. Counsel based on your knowledge, experience, and what you have learned from working with this person.
  3. Give lots of encouragement for any valid ideas on how to make changes.
  4. Encourage confessing sin and receiving forgiveness where they identify a need to make changes.

Additional Points:

  1. Some ssa/ma/tx overcomers express fear that they will end up alone; and as they grow older, there will be no one to care for them.
  2. They have given up their same-sex partners and experienced much spiritual growth, but opposite-sex attractions have not yet occurred. They do not see marriage and children as options in the future.
  3. The Keys program clearly states at the beginning that opposite-sex attractions are not guaranteed.
  4. The fear of living alone, and growing old with no one to care for them, is the rationale in some countries for legalizing same-sex marriages and allowing same-sex couples to adopt children.
  5. This is a concern that the ssa/ma/tx overcomer needs to take before the Lord in prayer.
  6. It takes faith to trust God with one’s future.
  7. Elderly childless couples, childless widows/widowers, and childless single people, all have the same concerns.
  8. The author has seen situations where God has raised up someone to be an elderly person’s caregiver and fill the role that would be ordinarily be filled by an adult child. A niece or nephew, a neighbor, a friend from church, a friend from work, etc., might step up to become power of attorney, help that elderly person manage their finances, help make healthcare decisions, etc.
  9. Church should be like another family and a good place to meet trustworthy people who can offer the kind of help that elderly people need.
  10. The overcomer might fill that role in some elderly person’s life and find great joy in doing so. That elderly friend might fulfill some of the overcomer’s emotional needs, which the overcomer’s parents were unable to provide.

[The author was in that role for several years with an elderly, childless aunt, and the relationship was a mutual blessing.]