Unit 4 Key 7 – For the Mentor

JOURNEY TO FREEDOM HANDBOOK

UNIT IV Key 7                            REBUILDING

Purpose of this Key:

  1. Understand the difference between spiritual maturity and spiritual childishness.
  2. Learn some of the signs of spiritual immaturity and the excuses we make for it.
  3. Understand the blessings of accepting spiritual discipline.
  4. Learn more about rebuilding one’s life under the direction of the Holy Spirit.
  5. Discover the joy of spiritual maturity.

I Corinthians 13:11

Common responses:

  1. Some now realize that ssa/ma/tx temptations were based on childish attitudes.
  2. Some realize that they used to be self-centered and selfish, had poor impulse control, and gave up too quickly when life became difficult.
  3. Some have learned to empathize and cooperate more with others and to make wiser decisions.
  4. Most realize they need to give up childish ways and become responsible adults, and some note that the process may be painful.
  5. Living according to the flesh keeps us immature; living by the Spirit makes us stronger.
  6. Mature Christians are dependent on God and inter-dependent with other believers.
  7. Some have experienced blessings as a result of becoming more spiritually mature.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Children are by nature self-centered, selfish, self-indulgent, and irresponsible. They need someone to tell them what to do, do not want to do hard things, make excuses for bad behavior, seek immediate gratification, and need rewards and consequences to make them do what is right.
  2. Immature people seek revenge when wronged, make excuses for sins, hesitate to love others for fear of being rejected, get angry for irrational reasons, think ungodly thoughts, and are more controlled by emotion than wisdom.
  3. Immature people insist they can only become better if others become better first. They are certain they are always right and others are wrong. After a quarrel, they might apologize, but only if the other person apologizes first.
  4. Mature adults are expected to do the right things for the right reasons, be self-sacrificing and responsible, make good choices, and work on overcoming their problems.
  5. Mature Christians confess their sins without making excuses for their sins, lying about their sins, minimizing their sins, blaming others for their sins, or focusing on others’ sins rather than their own. They are the first to reach out if they are in a broken relationship and ask for forgiveness if they have wronged another. They would rather serve the Lord than waste time in self-gratification. They take the long-range view.
  6. Humans all have the ability to reason. We can use our powers of logic to make excuses for our sins, or we can use that same power to expose our sins and expect better of ourselves.

Galatians 5:17

Common responses:

  1. Most understand that the Spirit of God and the desires of our flesh are at war. Because they realize this, they can better understand themselves.
  2. Some realize that this will be an on-going battle all their lives.
  3. Some realize that the Spirit wins through the Word.
  4. Some realize that the Spirit is always with them and never leaves them.
  5. Some realize that we develop spiritual maturity as we follow the Spirit rather than our flesh.

Points to emphasize:

  1. This war will go on all our lives, and we should expect it.
  2. No one is perfectible in this life. We will only be fully perfected when we come before our Lord in Heaven (I John 3:2).
  3. The “flesh” refers to our self-will and desires.
  4. When we believe in Jesus as our Savior, we receive the gift of the Holy Spirit, Who works on our self-will through the Word.
  5. Over time, a growing Christian becomes more comfortable obeying God’s will and less comfortable obeying the desires of the flesh.
  6. The conflict between the Spirit and the flesh becomes obvious whenever we have a decision to make.
  7. The devil can only manipulate us with weaknesses in our own sinful nature. We therefore need to be aware of any gaps in our battle armor (Ephesians 6:10-18).

Proverbs 3:1-8

Common responses:

  1. We need to trust God enough to obey Him.  
  2. Some list the blessings of obedience.
  3. Some notice that ssa/ma/tx temptations are deceitful.
  4. Some notice that obedience to God’s will improves their quality of life. Obedience in response to God’s forgiveness makes them more mentally stable and at peace with themselves.
  5. When we obey God’s will, we are empowered to resist the world’s lies. We cannot trust our own sinful nature to make good decisions.
  6. Some notice that being in the Word makes them able to trust God and obey Him.

Points to emphasize:

  1. These verses are full of good advice for daily living. Verses 5-6 might be good ones to memorize.
  2. These verses are full of promises. God will bless us if we obey His will instead of trying to force things to go our way.
  3. The more we surrender even little decisions to God, the easier life becomes.

Timothy 1:12-17

Common responses:

  1. Some realize that like the Apostle Paul, they had sinned in ignorance.
  2. Some emphasize the mercy of God in Christ towards sinners.
  3. We are called to be useful servants.
  4. The people to whom we witness are like we once were, so we must be patient with them.
  5. This passage is especially encouraging for those who used to live a very sinful life or committed crimes against children. God has a job for every penitent sinner who comes to Him for forgiveness.
  6. Some notice that as we surrender to God’s will, the more effectively we serve Him.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Refer them to I Corinthians 1:26-28.
  2. Affirm that God has a job for them, no matter what sins they have done in the past.
  3. Historically, revivals and spiritual awakenings have often begun at the bottom of society: among slaves, peasants, prison inmates, the poor, the outcasts, etc.
  4. Refer them to Acts 22:19-20 and 26:9-11, and I Corinthians 15:8-10.
  5. This is a good passage for those who think they are so sinful that God cannot forgive them. God had a job for the Apostle Paul, and He will have a job for any penitent sinner who comes to Him (Ephesians 2:10).
  6. The Apostle Paul had committed some very serious sins. But God used him to write the Epistles, take the Gospel out of the Hebrew world and into the Greek/Roman world, and eventually give his life as a martyr. It is hard to imagine the Church without Paul’s contribution.

[Author’s note: the author has seen penitent sex offenders becoming ministry leaders in prisons in America and even leading revivals.]

II Timothy 2:8-13

Common responses:

  1. We might suffer hardship for the sake of the Gospel.
  2. Furthering His kingdom is more important than our lives.
  3. We may feel bound to ssa/ma/tx, but the Word of God is not bound by anything.
  4. We can trust His faithfulness no matter what happens to us. If we die as martyrs, we will live with Jesus.
  5. We should be willing to endure anything in order to bring people the Gospel. Our faith is  measured by our endurance.

Points to emphasize:

  1. This is the Apostle Paul’s last Epistle, which he wrote from a Roman prison where he was awaiting execution. There was no ventilation or modern sanitation. He was surrounded by Christians waiting to be fed to lions.
  2. He never lost sight of his calling to spread the Gospel, and neither should we, no matter what the risks.
  3. He gave his most urgent instructions to those who would come after him, knowing that he had very little time left on this earth (II Timothy 4:6-8).

1. On a scale of 1-10, how much re-building have you done (1 is lowest, 10 is highest)? Please explain your answer.

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.
  2. Most are on the high end of the scale.
  3. Some will elaborate on the changes they have made.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any re-building they have done.
  2. Encourage thanks and praise to God.
  3. Encourage them to continue walking in obedience wherever God takes them.

2. What areas of your life remain to be re-built? What is making that difficult?

Common responses:

  1. Some of them are looking forward to greater deliverance from ssa/ma/tx temptations.
  2. Many want to re-build broken relationships with others.
  3. Some have tried to mend broken relationships, but the other persons have not responded.
  4. Some still struggle to forgive those who wronged them.
  5. Some see a need to study the Word more and give up worldly pursuits.
  6. Some have lived a double life for so long that they now struggle to find their true identity.
  7. Some have had their faith tested in various ways.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Counsel based on your knowledge, experience, and what you have learned from working with this person.
  2. You may need to confront them if there are some sins in their lives they have not yet been willing to confess. I John 1:9 always applies.
  3. If they are in a season of solitude, spending time alone with God as He deeply searches their hearts (Psalm 139:23-24), encourage this, even if they seem to be isolating themselves.
  4. You may need to review with them what they have learned about forgiveness.
  5. If they have asked for forgiveness from those they have wronged, and the other person will not reconcile, encourage them to continue to re-build trust. They can only change themselves, not anyone else.
  6. They may be finding their gifts and calling, so encourage them to seek God’s will.
  7. You may need to encourage them to accept God’s timetable.
  8. Remind them that the devil will try sabotage their recovery any way he can.

3. In what ways have you been showing spiritual maturity?

Common responses:

  1. Many have resisted sexual opportunities.
  2. Many are more consistently studying the Word, praying, confessing sins, and blocking ungodly thoughts with prayer and memorized Scripture.
  3. Some report treating others better, becoming less selfish, being more helpful and kind, becoming better listeners, and caring more for others.
  4. Some report recognizing the lies of the devil and replacing them with the truth from the Word.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any spiritual maturity they report.
  2. Encourage thanks and praise to God.

4. In what ways do you still speak, think, and reason, as a spiritual child?

Common responses:

  1. Some are still trying to compromise with some of their sins.
  2. Many have outbursts of anger and easily become impatient.
  3. Some still participate with others in sexual talk and joking about sex.
  4. Some still indulge in instant gratification, over-eat, do not exercise, procrastinate, are lazy, or become angry and impatient when they do not get their way.
  5. Some still indulge in anger and fantasies of revenge and are easily offended.  
  6. However, many will also state that they do these things less often than they used to.
  7. Many recognize that they have learned to love others better, but also realize they have a long ways to go.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical insights and honest self-examination. Never criticize honest confessions.
  2. Counsel based on your knowledge, experience, and what you have learned from working with this person.
  3. Encourage them to study the Word and pray, spend time alone with the Holy Spirit, invite His scrutiny, and confess whatever sins of which He convicts them.
  4. Be aware of any legalism in their thinking. Legalists often bargain with sin, compromise with sin, and make excuses for sin.
  5. Refer them to II Corinthians 4:7, which assures us that we have our Treasure (Jesus) in jars of clay (us).
  6. For those who have issues with over-eating, fasting is a spiritual discipline that gives prayer a power boost. Fasting also helps increase one’s self-control over food. They should make sure they are medically capable of fasting and should drink plenty of water.
  7. The more self-will we surrender, the less controlled we are by anger. When things seem to go wrong, we can ask God what use He intends to make of the situation.
  8. Impatience not only involves our relationship with people, but also our relationship with time. We need to surrender our time to the Lord of time. Learning to live in surrendered time is not easy but is well worth the struggle.
  9. Be aware that some of the situations they are in are spiritual tests, in which God will refine them (Job 23:10-12). When the devil cannot stop us from walking in obedience, he tries to find ways to steal our joy.

5. Has God been disciplining you for that, and if so, in what way?

Common responses:

  1. Many report that their consciences have become more sensitive, and they feel more conviction when they sin.
  2. Some report that God has lessened their interest in worldly pursuits.
  3. Some believe that God has used misfortunes in their lives to awaken them to their sins.
  4. Some have been confronted by other Christians.
  5. Some report that they were awakened from their sin when God withheld blessings and did not answer their prayers.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical insights and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit when He convicts them of sin or shows them the lies of the devil which they have believed.
  2. Encourage total transparency before God, confession of sin, and acceptance of forgiveness.
  3. You may need to explain that discipline is not the same as punishment. If the Holy Spirit convicts them of sin and they repent, He will not need to be harder on them. Athletes in training undergo discipline, but that is not a punishment (I Corinthians 9:24-27 & John 15:2-8). We prevent much unnecessary difficulty when we accept the Holy Spirit’s insights and quickly confess our sins.
  4. Be aware that the devil will condemn us for our feelings. The Holy Spirit will convict us of sins of deeds, words, thoughts, attitudes, sexual and other fantasies, secret agendas, hidden motivations, pride, self-deception, and self-will, but not our feelings.

6. In what ways have you learned to relate differently to other people while doing the Keys? Please cite specific relationships and how those have specifically changed. 

Common responses:

  1. Some are kinder, less argumentative, more empathic, less defensive when confronted, and less judgmental, and are making friends without sexual attractions being part of the relationships.
  2. Some are more assertive, less passive, and more open with others.
  3. Some are less self-indulgent, less likely to engage in sexual talk, and more likely to give a soft answer to the hostility of others.
  4. Some get along better with authority figures.
  5. Many have learned to pray for those who treat them badly.
  6. Some have learned to rely on God to protect them from the results of others’ hostility toward them (Isaiah 54:17).

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any godly insights.
  2. Encourage thanks and praise to God.
  3. Counsel based on your knowledge, experience, and what you have learned from working with this person.

7. What do the following verses tell us that will make us want to re-build?

Proverbs 8:13

Common responses:

  1. We should revere and respect God.
  2. God hates sin, and we need to hate our sin also.
  3. Some mention loving Jesus more than their sins, because He gives us eternal life.
  4. Many see the connection between pride and their other sins.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical responses.
  2. The more our faith grows, the more we will love God and be disgusted with our sin.
  3. You may need to explain that when the Bible uses the word “fear” in this context, it means the respect a child has for a good father. There is another word in the original languages that is translated “fear”, which refers to the fear a slave has for his owner, but this is not the word that is used when referring to the “fear of the Lord”.

Proverbs 10:17

Common responses:

  1. Most realize that following the Holy Spirit’s instructions keeps us on the path of eternal life.
  2. Some mention that ignoring the Word and the Holy Spirit brought unnecessary difficulty to their lives and stopped them from walking with Jesus.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical responses and note the promised blessing.
  2. Refer to John 10:10 and similar verses. We are blessed for following the Holy Spirit’s instructions.
  3. Godly reproof is a blessing. Those who give godly reproof are not trying to “score points” against others. Their goal is to help.
  4. Often the first step to repentance is when we acknowledge that God is right and we are wrong, because the Word says we are wrong, not because we feel wrong.

8. How does Proverbs 12:11 apply to ssa/ma/tx?

Common responses:

  1. Most realize that ssa/ma/tx were vain things which they pursued.
  2. Some specifically mention fantasies and selfishness as vain things which they pursued.  
  3. Now they pursue Jesus, His Word, and the Holy Spirit’s guidance.
  4. Some see “tilling the land” as a word-picture to describe their growing spiritual life, and the “bread” as the fruits of the Spirit.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical responses.
  2. Only the Holy Spirit can make the overcomer aware that ssa/ma/tx is a vain thing.
  3. Other ssa/ma/tx overcomers have seen parallels between farming/gardening, and overcoming their sins. Their sins were like tall weeds that needed to be pulled up by the roots to expose the torn-up soil to sun and rain (Hosea 6:3) so the fruit of the Spirit could grow (Galatians 5:22-23).
  4. Like many verses in Proverbs, this verse has both a warning against sin and a promised blessing for obedience.

9. How does Proverbs 14:12 apply to ssa/ma/tx?

Common responses:

  1. Most realize that ssa/ma/tx seems right to many, but it will end in separation from God.
  2. Some note that this verse leaves no room for compromise with any sin.
  3. Some note that no one is born ssa/ma/tx even though society thinks so.
  4. Some note that sin is deceitful.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical responses.
  2. Refer to Romans 6:23 and similar verses.
  3. This verse applies to all sins, including the socially acceptable ones such as greed and gossip.

10. What are the promises of the following verses?

Psalm 84:11

Common responses:

  1. Many note that God lights the way and protects us from evil.
  2. Most note that God will give us what we need if we walk in obedience.
  3. Some note that we need to accept God’s timing and purpose for our lives.

Points to emphasize:

  1. When our will is aligned with God’s will, He will give us whatever we need to carry out His will.
  2. If we are walking in God’s will, He will remove barriers.
  3. Be aware that walking uprightly depends on us confessing our sins, living transparently before God, and accepting His forgiveness.
  4. God cannot bless us if we insist on doing things our way. Refer to Hebrews 6:10.
  5. Sometimes His blessings do not become apparent immediately.

And John 6:37

Common responses:

  1. Most understand that any penitent sinner can come to Jesus for forgiveness of sin.
  2. Some note that He will never abandon us, and He will support us as we struggle to build a new life in Him.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical response.
  2. The only people Jesus ever rejected were those who tried to come to Him on their own terms rather than His (Matthew 25:1-12 & Luke 18:18-23).

11. Please read Exodus chapters 1-4. How does God deal with Moses?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary. The story of Moses says different things to different people.
  2. He showed him mercy.
  3. He protected him from infancy and gave him life experiences that shaped him into the man God needed him to be.
  4. He allowed Moses to make mistakes doing things his way so He could show Moses that God’s way was better.
  5. He gave Moses a new family when he fled Egypt.
  6. He told Moses His plans for Moses’ life and empowered Moses to carry out God’s instructions.
  7. He patiently answered all of Moses’ questions and gave reassurance that He would always be with Moses. He sent Aaron to be a support person.
  8. He disciplined Moses when Moses failed to obey.
  9. He honored Moses when Moses obeyed Him.
  10. He gave Moses power even though he had difficulty speaking so Moses could perform signs and wonders before Pharaoh and everyone who was watching.
  11. He forced Moses out of his comfort zone.
  12. Even though he was an outcast, God used Moses to bring deliverance to the Hebrews.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical responses. The story of Moses says different things to different people.
  2. Note how patiently God dealt with Moses’ fears. He listened to all of Moses’ objections. He answered Moses’ concerns. But He also demanded obedience.
  3. God only got angry when Moses openly tried to avoid obeying God’s will (4:13-14), but He still sent Aaron to be a support person.
  4. God worked on Moses for 40 years before He was ready to use him to deliver others. He got Moses out of Egypt; then He had to get the Egypt out of Moses.
  5. Moses became one of the few people in the Bible with whom God spoke face-to-face.
  6. If possible, it might be helpful to watch the movie “Prince of Egypt”. Moses is shown as a spoiled palace brat who cared only for his own amusement. In the back of the desert, he learns to respect others, treat his wife as an equal, and defend the weak from the strong. He learns the dignity of working with his hands and living as an equal among free people. He undergoes a total identity change. Then God could use him.

12. Please read Exodus chapter 5 and chapters 7-10. In what ways was Moses tested, how did he respond to the tests, and how did God honor his response?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary. The story of Moses says different things to different people.
  2. He obeyed God’s will, but the Hebrews blamed him for their increased work load when at first he was unable to impress Pharaoh.  
  3. He continued to obey God’s will in spite of the setbacks and brought every problem before the Lord in prayer.
  4. God backed up Moses’ words by sending the Plagues and putting a wall of protection around the Hebrew settlement.
  5. Eventually the Hebrews gave Moses respect, and the Egyptians at Pharaoh’s court tried to convince Pharaoh that Moses’ God was powerful and should be obeyed (Exodus 8:19, 9:20, & 10:7).
  6. Pharaoh continued to break his promises to let the Hebrews go, but Moses continued to obey God’s will.
  7. God told Moses everything He was going to do, so Moses knew what to expect. Moses knew he could trust God to keep His Word.
  8. Moses spoke directly to Pharaoh without needing Aaron to be his spokesman, even though he had thought he could not; seeing God’s power helped him gain confidence.
  9. He was tested by being offered a compromise in Exodus 10:7-11, to take only the men to worship the Lord in the desert, but leave the women, children, and livestock behind. Moses would not accept that.
  10. Moses must have been disappointed every time Pharaoh did not keep his word, but God kept giving Moses bigger and bigger miracles until Pharaoh had no more chances.
  11. Moses kept seeking God’s will and following new instructions.
  12. He was going to do things God’s way, all the way. Eventually the Hebrews were liberated just as God had said.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Often when someone first ventures to do God’s will, one does not immediately experience good results.
  2. Perhaps God is testing our resolve to obey.
  3. The more humble and obedient we are, the more God can entrust us with spiritual power.
  4. Moses obeyed God’s will, step by step, even though he did not know how many Plagues would be necessary before Pharaoh let the Hebrews go.
  5. Never did he give up and go back to Midian to herd sheep. He had experienced God’s power and mercy, and there was no turning back.
  6. Faith will do whatever has to be done, whatever it takes, and whatever God commands, for however long.

13. On a scale of 1-10, how victorious have you been lately? Please explain your answer.

Common responses:

  1. Most are doing well.
  2. Some report having had sexual opportunities, but refused.
  3. Some are only slightly tempted by ssa/ma/tx, but are more concerned with sins of words or thought.
  4. Some have come under conviction of sins that did not used to concern them.
  5. Some are having trouble with other kinds of temptations.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Encourage thanks and praise to God for any victory gained.
  2. If the number is high because they have had very little temptation lately, encourage thanks and praise to God. 
  3. If the number is high because they have had to fight much temptation and were successful, encourage thanks and praise to God.
  4. More tests will likely be put in their way, but future tests should not spoil their enjoyment of the victories they have had so far.
  5. Avoid criticizing a low number. Try to find out the reason for it. Ask about their thoughts, attitudes, stressful situations, how they are using their time, or if anything unexpected has happened.
  6. If they sin less frequently than before, assure them that God has been working in their lives. Encourage progress, not perfection.
  7. If they slipped into sin but noticed that the feelings were not as strong, that is a sign of God at work in their lives. Encourage them to confess it, accept God’s forgiveness, and get back on track.
  8. If they feel worse after sinning than they used to, that is a sign that God has made their consciences more responsive to His will. They can be thankful for their awakened consciences; they used to be dead in their sins (Ephesians 2:1).
  9. Remind them that I John 1:9 and Romans 8:1 always apply.
  10. Encourage them to retrace their steps and ask the Holy Spirit to give them insight into    what weakness led to the fall.
  11. Encourage them to confess sins of thoughts (Romans 12:2) in order to more easily avoid sins of words and deeds.
  12. Continue to encourage them to use memorized Scripture to block tempting and negative thoughts. Encourage use of the Emergency Prayer.
  13. If they view themselves as making very little progress, keep their focus on God’s mercy rather than their own failures. Punishing themselves with guilt accomplishes nothing; Jesus took the punishment on their behalf.
  14. New Christians do not always understand the difference between temptation and actual          sin. Some give themselves a low number, but while the temptation was great, they may not have fallen into sin. Explain the difference to them.
  15. If they have not had temptation in a long while, they might need to be aware that the devil does not give up easily and may be preparing a major attack. This possibility should not prevent them from enjoying their progress now. Overcomers commonly experience a major attack of temptation before getting the final victory over a besetting sin. If they withstand a big temptation, which can go on for days or weeks, they will usually find themselves that much stronger once it is over. Encourage them to pray for rescue immediately when tempted.

14. Did you use any memorized Scripture to battle temptation lately? What was the result?

Common responses:

  1. Most have stories to share, and are amazed at the results.
  2. Some are amazed at how much they have been able to memorize.
  3. Some have not memorized any new verses but are effectively using what they have already memorized.
  4. By this time, most have learned to use the Word effectively against temptation.
  5. Most are using the Word against sins of deeds. Some are still learning to use it against the sins of thought, selfishness, discouragement, etc.
  6. Some are less consistent.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical response.
  2. Affirm any awareness of sins of thoughts and attitudes, which lead to sins of deeds and words.
  3. Remind them that every time they do this, they become stronger.
  4. Remind them that the brain is growing new neurons around memorized Scripture instead of their sinful thoughts.

15. How is your spiritual life in general, how are your private devotions, and how are things at your church/fellowship group?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.
  2. Most report that things are going well.
  3. A few are beginning to emerge as leaders in their church/fellowship group.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Encourage them to praise God for whatever is going well.
  2. Explore what is not going well and try to help them find out why.
  3. Counsel based on your knowledge, experience, and what you have learned from working with this person.

Plan of Action

  1. Affirm any Biblical response.
  2. Counsel based on your knowledge, experience, and what you have learned from working with this person.
  3. Give lots of encouragement for any valid ideas on how to make changes.
  4. Encourage confession of sin and receiving forgiveness where they identify a need to make changes.

Additional points:

  1. Since we are not to be controlled by our emotions, Christians sometimes wonder what the role of emotion is in our lives and what useful purpose they serve.
  2. Emotions are like the lights on the dashboards of our cars. They can flash a warning signal that something is wrong and requires our attention.
  3. When we feel guilty, we need to repent. Guilt warns us that we have committed sin.
  4. We must beware of false guilt, such as blaming oneself for the sins or weaknesses of those around us. In such cases, it is best to take one’s questions to the Holy Spirit in prayer and ask for His discernment.
  5. Sadness is normal if a loved one dies, and such a loss needs to be grieved. However, sadness might also occur when a cherished hope does not come to pass. In such cases, it is best to ask God if the cherished hope was His will or one’s own will. If it was one’s own will, one needs to surrender to God’s will.
  6. We might feel sad if a relationship is broken, even if we have forgiven the other person. If they refuse to reconcile or refuse to repent of their wrong-doing, and the relationship remains broken, sadness is a normal response. We can grieve with Jesus, Who also longs to see broken relationships reconciled.
  7. Fear is normal if one is out in nature and sees a bear or a poisonous snake. In such cases, fear tells us to get away from danger. However, fear can block us from obeying God’s will, taking a moral stand against sin, refusing to follow the crowd, reaching out to others, trying new things, or taking God-approved risks.
  8. Pride is an emotion that serves no useful purpose. It blocks us from confessing sin, asking others’ forgiveness, or admitting we were wrong; and it is quick to take offense and strike out in anger.
  9. Anger is complicated. If we are angry, we need to ask why. Behind anger is often fear, based on a belief that we are helpless. Anger can also be a response to wounded pride.
  10. Some anger is righteous. But righteous anger does not lead to sin. Anger can tell us when we have been wronged. Even if we do not strike back, and even if we forgive the other person, what they did to us was wrong.
  11. Sometimes emotions occur in response to immediate situations.
  12. Sometimes emotions occur when we recall a painful memory.
  13. Sometimes emotions occur in response to lies of the devil that we have believed.
  14. Sometimes we have a false sense of entitlement, which needs to be questioned.
  15. Galatians 5:22 tells us that the fruit of the Spirit is joy. When something blocks our joy, we need to take it to God in prayer and ask why. We might need to become more discerning of what is behind the emotion. Painful memories need to be grieved in the presence of Jesus. Lies of the devil need to be confronted with truth. Guilt should lead to confession of sin.
  16. A sense of gloom and oppression, for no identifiable reason, might be demonic. The first step is to examine oneself for sin and forgive anyone who has wronged us. Having done that, fight the oppression with joyful music, joyful worship, and joyful praise.
  17. The enemy wants to steal our joy. Jesus came to give us abundant life (John 10:10).