JOURNEY TO FREEDOM HANDBOOK

UNIT III                                                 REVIEW

Purpose of this Key:

      1) Assess progress and celebrate victories.

      2) Assess the changes made in their thoughts and attitudes.

      3) Assess how changing their thinking has changed their lives.

      4) Assess how changing their thinking has changed their relationships.

      5) Target problem areas.

1. On a scale of 1-10, how high is your desire to overcome ssa/ma/tx?

Common responses:

  1. Motivation is usually very high by this point.
  2. Some add comments to describe changed thoughts and feelings.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Encourage thanks and praise to God for high motivation.
  2. If necessary, counsel based on your knowledge, experience, and what you have learned from working with this person.

2. On a scale of 1-10, how much has your desire increased since you began the Keys?

Common responses:

  1. The number usually matches the response in #1.
  2. Some add comments to describe their joy.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Encourage thanks and praise to God for high motivation.

3. What are some of your habits that have changed?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.
  2. Many express being closer to God, realizing they are truly forgiven, and accepting His mercy as a free gift that cannot be earned by their own works.
  3. Many are avoiding sexual fantasies, negative thoughts, and lustful looks.
  4. Many have become less judgmental of others and more kind and forgiving.
  5. Some are more honest.
  6. Some are more careful about what television shows or other media they watch.
  7. Many have a more positive attitude.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical response.
  2. Encourage thanks and praise to God, and point to the indwelling Christ, Who is stronger than our temptations (Colossians 3:1-10).
  3. If necessary, counsel based on your knowledge, experience, and what you have learned from working with this person.

4. What are some ways in which your speech and choice of words has changed?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.
  2. Many speak more kindly, give encouragement, and try to edify.
  3. Many avoid sexual and disrespectful talk, bad language, and gossip.
  4. Many have become better listeners and think more carefully before they speak.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical response. Encourage thanks and praise to God.
  2. Give encouragement. Giving up negative speech is hard when others in the environment still do so.
  3. We can all improve at how we speak (James 3).  

5. Are any painful memories causing you problems? Please share as you feel comfortable.

Common responses:

  1. Some say ‘no’.
  2. They may still have painful memories from childhood.
  3. Some feel shame over bad choices they have made.
  4. Some still feel pain over rejection by family members.

Points to emphasize:

  1. If the answer is ‘no’, encourage thanks and praise to God.
  2. Some will recall painful memories for the rest of their lives, but those memories do not have to ruin their lives. They can keep taking them to Jesus. He felt all of it on the cross (Isaiah 53:4-5).
  3. One day in heaven, all the painful memories will be erased (Romans 8:18 & Revelations 21:4), and Jesus Himself will wipe away every tear with His own hand.
  4. They may need to be reminded that when we ask God’s forgiveness, we can then ask Him how He wants us to fix any problems our sins have caused.
  5. The Accuser of our souls wants us to continue to feel guilty over the sins of which we have been forgiven. Refer to Romans 8:1, II Corinthians 5:21, and Romans 5:1.
  6. On the cross, Jesus despised the shame, so we can also (Hebrews 12:2).
  7. As pardoned sinners, we can live life with dignity, self-respect, and Christian service, no matter what we have done in the past (Luke 7:37-50).
  8. Encourage them to focus on what Jesus has done on their behalf.
  9. Broken relationships may never be reconciled in this life. Encourage them to continue to do their part, grieve in the presence of Jesus, and ask the Holy Spirit to guide their interactions with these people.

6. Are you more aware of ways in which you contributed to your relationship problems with other people? Please explain your answer.

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.
  2. Many used to treat people as objects to be used for their own gratification.
  3. Many were dishonest, controlling, and manipulative.
  4. Many lacked empathy for others and were selfish.
  5. Some tried too hard to please others and then felt exploited and resentful.
  6. Many will mention ways in which they have improved their treatment of others.
  7. Some used to avoid relationships with others unless sex was involved, but no longer do so.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Never criticize them for sins they confess.
  2. Encourage them to thank and praise God because they are now aware of how they have hurt others, and can therefore pursue reconciliation.
  3. Remind them that God has forgiven them for their sins.
  4. Affirm ways in which they have become more loving.
  5. They can ask God to show them better ways to treat others.
  6. They will be blessed for becoming more generous and giving.
  7. Remind them that to love others well, they must first love themselves well.

7 In light of Joel 1:4, what are some things that have gone wrong in your life, and what are some choices you wish you could do over again?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.
  2. Most wish that they had not begun to act out sexually in sinful ways, and that their sexual education had given them tools to avoid sexual sin.
  3. Many regret how they have hurt others.
  4. Many wish they had been closer to God when they were younger.
  5. Some wish they had tried harder to get more education.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Never criticize them for sins they confess.
  2. Refer to John 10:10 and Jeremiah 29:11. Jesus came to redeem what the thief of our souls killed, stole, and destroyed.
  3. Refer to Genesis 50:20. God lets us get into trouble for our sins so that He can get our attention, call us to repentance through the Gospel, and save us.
  4. Encourage them to trust God’s long-range plans for their lives (Philippians 1:6 & 3:13-14 & Ephesians 2:10).
  5. Refer to Luke 7:41-47, which tells us that those who have been forgiven much love much.

8. Are there ways in which you see Joel 2:13 & 25 coming true for you? Please explain your answer.

Common responses:

  1. Most say ‘yes’.
  2. A few may not see it yet.
  3. Some are amazed that God could forgive them for the things they did.
  4. Many like the changes God is working into their lives.
  5. Many have improved relationships with others.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical response.
  2. Give encouragement. God is keeping His promises to them.
  3. The longer we walk with the Lord, the more we see these verses proving themselves to be true.
  4. Counsel based on your knowledge, experience, and what you know from working with this person.

9. Are there ways in which you see Romans 8:28 coming true for you? Please explain your answer.

Common responses:

  1. Most say ‘yes’, and list unexpected blessings that came out of their troubles.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Same as in #8.

10. What negative thoughts, attitudes, and distorted thinking have you overcome since you started the Keys?

Common responses:

  1. Many had low self-esteem. They now like the changes God is working into their lives.
  2. Some had a legalistic view of God and thought they had to earn His favor through good works. The harder they tried to be good, the worse they became.
  3. Many thought they were born ssa/ma/tx. They realize now that their temptations can be overcome.
  4. Many thought they could not be loved unless they were offering sex to someone. They realize now that they can get real love from God and their Christian brothers and sisters.
  5. Minor-attracted adults have come to realize that children do not want sex. They feel more empathy for victimized children.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical response.
  2. Encourage thanks and praise to God for any insights they have gained.
  3. Encourage them to keep inviting the Holy Spirit to expose more lies and speak truth against them.
  4. Encourage them to re-read their previous Keys in order to see how far they have come. They might become aware of more lies that have been replaced with truth.
  5. Encourage them to rely only and entirely on God’s forgiveness as a free gift.

11. What truths from the Word have replaced them?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.

Points to emphasize:

1) Affirm any Biblical response.

12. What changes in your life have happened as a result of replacing the negative thoughts, attitudes, and distorted thinking with truth?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical response.

13. What secret agendas and hidden motivations have you surrendered since you started the Keys?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.
  2. Some have become less manipulative, and their relationships have improved.
  3. Many mention no longer seeking to get revenge on others who have wronged them.
  4. Some mention that they no longer have secret sexual fantasies.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical response.
  2. Encourage them to keep surrendering self-will to God’s will.

14. What priorities based on the Word have replaced them?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical response.

15. What changes in your life have happened as a result of surrendering self-willed motivations and agendas and replacing them with God’s priorities?

Common responses:

  1. Answers will vary.

Points to emphasize:

      1) Affirm any Biblical response.

16. Do you see people treating you differently in response to the changes you have made?

Common responses:

  1. Most say ‘yes’.
  2. Often they get more respect.
  3. Other people have told them they seem different.
  4. Often others seem more comfortable around them.
  5. Often they have more friends because others are less worried about being propositioned.
  6. Some have people in their lives who do not seem to have noticed anything different.
  7. A few have isolated themselves so much that others do not have the opportunity to notice.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical response.
  2. Often the more we respect ourselves, the more others will respect us.
  3. Often other people can sense when we have changed even if they are not sure what is different. As a result, we might have opportunities to witness.
  4. Sometimes people who feel guilty over their own sin become angry when they see someone else overcoming sin. Their consciences are aggravated. We need to pray for them also. We should not be surprised if they repent.

17. How have your actions, speech, and attitudes toward authority figures changed since you began the Keys?

Common responses:

  1. Some are more forgiving of authority figures.
  2. Some treat them with more respect.
  3. Some are less argumentative and hostile.
  4. Many now realize that authority figures are put in their positions by God.
  5. Some never had a problem with authority figures.
  6. Some are more comfortable relating to them now.

Points to emphasize:

  1. Affirm any Biblical responses.
  2. Sometimes authority figures can sense our hidden rebellion.
  3. Sometimes genuine respect can make allies of them.
  4. The Epistles were written to Christians who were being persecuted by worldly authorities. They were told to respect them anyway (Romans 13:1-7).
  5. How we handle authority reflects our Christian maturity.
  6. Great Christian leaders were often great Christian servants first.
  7. God is the ultimate Authority, and all earthly authority figures will eventually answer to Him.
  8. In the home, if the husband/father rebels against God, he often finds his wife and children imitate his example by rebelling against him.
  9. In the movies and on television, rebellion tends to be glamorized. Authority figures are often presented as evil.
  10. In real life, authority figures are often held in suspicion no matter how carefully they try to do their jobs.
  11. There are godly lines of authority as well as godly ways to hold authority accountable.
  12. Christians have no spiritual authority until they have learned to accept the order of authority that God has ordained.

Plan of Action:

  1. Affirm any Biblical responses.
  2. If necessary, counsel based on your knowledge, experience, and what you have learned from working with this person.
  3. Give lots of encouragement. Most have come a long way by now and like what they see in themselves. You can celebrate with them.

Additional points:

  1. By this time, some are expressing concern about sins that never used to bother their consciences.
  2. We often begin our Christian walk confessing our sins of deeds. Later, we begin to confess our sins of words.
  3. Behind our sins of deeds and words are the sins of the mind.
  4. By this time, some are becoming painfully aware of their sinful thoughts. Besides sexual thoughts, they notice confrontation fantasies regarding those who wronged them, judgmental thoughts regarding people who are living in obvious sin, jealous or selfish thoughts, thoughts in which they compare themselves with others, or other ungodly thoughts and attitudes.
  5. When a growing Christian gets victory over sins of deeds and words, conviction over sins of the mind becomes stronger.
  6. They have been reading the Word, and their consciences have become more sensitive to the Holy Spirit.
  7. Point out to them that these thoughts were in their minds all along. They were distracted by the sins of deeds or words and did not notice their sins of thoughts.
  8. The solution is to confess sins of thought as they become consciously aware of them, de-brief sins of the mind during their prayer time, and replace sinful attitudes with memorized Scripture.
  9. They can ask the Holy Spirit to alert them when they begin to think ungodly thoughts and to show them how He wants them to be thinking.
  10. Changes in their thinking lead to changes in their personalities. They can trust God to continue to change them in ways they will like.